dklfanewiofn

I haven't signed into this in almost a year I believe.
At least not since I had 3D last fall.

Idk why it's still here really.
Or why I'm writing this.
I'm on tumblr every day and deviant art, so this is sort of a waste now.

http://finn-berry.tumblr.com
http://aoxor.deviantart.com

No Way To Behave Rough

Rain

^___^

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wi2QC5K_gcE

<3

darn.

poor blogger.

The only reason I'm on now is because I have to follow three art blogs for my 3D design class.

Otherwise I'd be on my tumblr.

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?

for the record.
i'm the one that's torn my heart apart.
because i'm letting go of one of the best things that ever happened to me.
i hold on to things.
even when there's no hope left.
i'm weak like that.
i've loved him for basically the last year of my life.
i didn't want a serious relationship right now.
or even a complicated one.
i just wanted a future that was with him.
it's pretty sad when i would close my eyes and imagine that it would happen that way.
i could wish for the world.
for the best of health.
for all the dvds of InuYasha and every known cd to man.
i could wish for my body to be completely "perfect" and inked.
but none of that would matter of course.
when you love someone enough, there's a point where you have to learn when to let them go.
because if you keep dragging them down, you'll never bring them happiness.
i can never bring happiness.
i only bring sorrow.
also for the record.
life without color would be like life without you.
because life without you is far worse than losing a few shades of green and orange.
i don't really know what to do with myself without you.
i was never a good match for you, i know.
but you always complimented me so well.
like sugar and coffee.
peanut butter and jelly.
maybe you aren't going to be the person i wake up next to ten years from now for rest of my days.
and more than likely, you aren't going to be the one i play fight with by smuding flour on your face in the kitchen when i'm trying to bake a cake.
and perhaps you aren't going to be the one i say good night to and lay down beside at night.
doesn't mean i never wanted all of that with you.
in fake, you're the only one i ever saw any of that with.
you weren't prince charming.
or a knight in shining armor.
but the day you messaged me.
somehow, you saved me.
and you've continued to save me every day since then.
and i'm never going to be able to stop loving you.
and there's a chance that i'll never be able to truly let go deep inside.
but i can act like i can.
acting like i'm okay is what i've been good at for the past 19 years of my life.
and for my birthday.
nothing would work as well as if i was able to get a hug.
because your arms always felt right.
i'm sorry.
because deep down i know some how this is my fault.
i love you.
so much.
your the color in my oh so dull life sir.

burned

I finally read the 7th House of Night novel.

it came out almost a month ago, and I've been beating my head against a wall because I couldn't get to it.

I do believe it's my favorite thus far, though the 6th runs a close second.

P.C. & Kristin mentioned Glee in the book, which made me smile from ear to ear.

Plus, they've continued the style of writing that made me fall in love with the first of the series.

Any major character in the book has a personality of their own, and not one should be considered a lego block (unlike a certain person in another [gay] vampire series).

It took me 3 hours to read because I was in B&N in an uncomfortable chair, people were constantly walking by, & the rain outside was a major distraction.

Plus, I had a migraine and I hadn't eaten that entire day until I got home.

But to say I wasn't happy would be a lie.

It's one of the happiest 3 hours I've had in a long long time.

House of Night inspires me so much, even though I haven't picked up a pencil to draw or write anything or taken a mouse to pixel.

I have the images in my head, the ideas.

The romance swirls in my mind, the vivid colors, the Darkness, the Light.

There is hardly any House of Night fanart, as I've looked through google & on deviantart.

And if there is, it's mainly of Zoey or Heath, Erik, Loren, or one of those.

I want art of Rephaim.

Kalona.

of Darkness and Light.

of Nyx.

I have a gorgeous painting in my mind of the old bulls.

Black is Light and white is Darkness.

masculine.

strength.

I've been so lost.

So sad.

So depressed.

Uninspired.

I have the urge to draw Rephaim.

There's no images of him anywhere.

Nothing except The Casts' descriptions and my imagination.

Anyway.

Since I only have 5 of the seven books. (I own 1-4 & 6 but not 5 and 7)

I think someone should indulge in my obsession.

just saying.

*coughbirthdaycough*

;p

jk.

I don't expect that.

but I would enjoy a nook! (e reader for you darling Oliver).

it's way more expensive though.

but it's so worth it.