a man I will never forget.

"...but you cannot kiss an idea, cannot touch it, or hold it... ideas do not bleed, they do not feel pain, they do not love... And it is not an idea that I miss, it is a man." - Evey Hammond

that's all for now.
Watching V for Vendetta for the first time.
lovely.

curiosity had nothing on this cat.

This is my absolute favorite doll EVER.
It was my first time with skeleton work and I was still practicing with bruises.
It's love.

sweet sweet pixelated love.
& the song means so much to me <3


So my cat decides "Hai, Imma go behind the tv nao. ya wai bby."
Worst mistake of her life if you ask me.
Now the tv, the radio, the lamp, the directTV box, & the dvd player.
I had to go on an adventure for a new thing to fix it.
So now we have tv, but no radio or lamp.
Not a bad deal if you ask me.
I was writing chapter one for Between Five and Bristol when it happened.
Now I'm sorta out of the zone. D:
bleh.
Oh well.

another petal.

So I painted this earlier.
looks better irl obviously.
No idea why I wanted to, but I did.
got home from the hospital and painted it.
Made me feel better.
Momma is okay.
I'll be okay.
Question is, will you be okay?
I hope so.
I feel like I've matured lately.
Whether it's too late or not, Idk.
I myself am at a crossroad.
I can continue to try.
Or I can give up.
But like the song by Evanescence, Lacrymosa :
"Life is too short a time to waste on giving up."
So bby, don't give up just yet.
I may not be forever, but Idk if I can lose you just yet..

lollipop oh lolli lolli.

So this business about me not being able to pay for school isn't my fault.
WU is apparently two weeks behind.
So I can't do shit until they get their stuff together.
Taking momma to the hospital soon.
So Idk when I'll be back.

over the ramparts you tossed the scent of your skin & some foreign flowers.

rolling rolling hills.
I was going to try and paint something else, but by the time the paintbrush was against the bristol, my mind changed.
So yeah.
I love you.

you're my sunshine.

This weekend was an epic success.
I totally missed Rebecca & Brittany.
So it was great to see them again.
Rebecca's dad planted some amazing sunflowers out in their garden.
So I had to take pictures.
We had an EPIC game of monopoly.
It's no surprise to say that I won.
I'm rather competitive about board games.
They only let me monopolize once D:
It was sad.
But I owned 3/4 railroads & all the utilities.
So I pretty much owned a lot of the money.
I had, I do believe, around 11,500.
& HP was really good though it upset me.
stupid people.
Where were all the ravenclaw students for example?
& why wasn't Dumbledore wearing that purple suit in the Tom Riddle memory?
They left out so much shit.
BLARGH.
Made me rather angry.
& I'm tired of hearing "you should expect much, it's just a movie"
It's not the point.
I can be angry if I want.
Gosh.
So anyway.
This school business is taking too long.
I want to leave now D:
I'm so ready for it.
But otherwise, I guess I'm okay.
Though SOMEONE isn't talking to me.
Not that I haven't tried.
so yeah.

Anything at all.

To say I'm reading to go back to WU is an understatement.
I miss this rock <3

Something is oddly calming about peeling half a bag of potatoes.
Todays been okay so far.
Wisdom tooth is coming in.
It doesn't hurt really, it's just really annoying.
HARRY POTTER TOMORROW :D
I'm tres excited.
tres?
That's three in spanish..
Anyway.
I'm in a kinda weird mood.
Do I dare say I'm happy?
I wouldn't have a clue whether or not it's right to say that.
But if the smile on my face is any clue..
lol.
Still working on Between Five and Bristol.
Me & Detail are fighting out right now.
I know what I want to say (sorta)
but it's hard to do when I have to describe shit.
Oh well.

i'm gonna knock you out.

This is angry page.
:D

Today started off as normal.
Woke up around 5:30 as I've been for the past two weeks
Went back to sleep.
Got up hearing my stepdad fuss as usual.
So instead of hiding as I usually do, I decided to paint.
I was beside myself as to post or not.
Considering it's for something or rather someone special.
So I won't post it today.
Since it's already painted, it's automatically his.
Even if things don't make it to monday.
Which is possible.
Though I'd hope against spliting up.
:[
I'll be gone tomorrow.
And most of sunday.
Idk what time I'll be back.
I'm going to be busy killing orcs & watching Harry get his nose broken.
That better be in the movie.
>.<

she was loling. no joke.

this is cat cow. & caleb's hand. he insisted on being in the picture.

So I'm not an exception from the HP fan base.
However, up until today I hadn't set my hands on the 6th book.
I only got about 400 pages in, so I'm not finished.
But only a few pages in, my heart lightened and my creative mind started working.
I'm in love with it so far.
Though JK didn't finish the way she wanted (or so she tells everyone).
I think it's good, though not as good as it could be had she not been rushed by the movie people.
D:<

Anyway.

About 200 pages in, JK wrote something about Lavendar Brown I think, and Lavendar apparently was loling.

Isn't that amazing?

I couldn't stop myself from giggling.

It's certainly made my day.

P.S. I prefer "exotic" apples to normal ones like red delicious or granny smith.

greyscale

no art/photography/weird picture today.
I'm tired.
Things aren't going so well lately.
And I'm wondering if it's all my fault.
Could be, blaming myself seems to be the easiest to do.
HP this Sunday with the Roommate & a close friend from college.
The moment I get over there, soooo playing Champions of Norrath.
I'm in love with that game.
Nothing can make this girl smile more than killing orcs and giant mammoth ants.
:]
I'm ready for school.
Now Now Now!
I saw my friend Michael yesterday (don't ask where)
We talked for a bit, and both of us are pysched for school to start again.
He lost life too, so we're in the same boat money wise.
So next semester, I'm putting college first like I shoulda a long time ago.
I can't get depressed like I did last year.
It almost killed me..
So yeah.
I'm going to the library now to escape this hell I live in.
Don't know when I'll update next.
I'm spending less and less time on the computer these days.
& I haven't forgotten about Between Five and Bristol.
I'm still working on it.
I was writing in my notebook last night in fact.

surgeon general's warning

We finished the kitchen today.
God I'm tired of paint.
I didn't even have to paint and I'm still covered in it.
-_____-
So I had a spurt of pretty today and took a lot of pictures :D
& my katana had a photo shoot.
I love my Chinatsu <3
But anyway.
Totally seeing HP on Sunday with my roommate & a close friend.
Hopefully I'll read the book before then though.
>.>
My mouth hurts.
BLARGH.
God my mom is nagging a lot.
NAG NAG NAG.
Maybe I'll bleach my hair, get some more piercings, and have a baby or something.

DO YOU WANT TO BUY A PICKLE?

maybe ASTRONINJA was onto something when they said I looked asian >.>
Though I think it turned out looking more Native American than anything.
That's what happens when I draw myself and color with crayons XD
I love crayons.
I have a weird love for the show iCarly.
It's my type of humor.
But sadly, the only thing on this late at night is Wow Wow Wubbzy.
I sincerely could not figure out what Wubzy was.
Male or female?
But wubbzy is a boy.
Apparently.
They totally said "he" like a kajillion times.
What I want to know is, what is up with Wubbzy's tail?
It's all... square like.
sad.
& why is there two b's in Wubbzy?
no sense at all.
And the purple one who's name escapes me, just made painting into a math equation.
wtf.
FAIL.
D:
I'm thirsty.
but Idk where my cup is.
T______________T
OH!
There was half of a dead ant on my towel when I took a bath earlier.
He/she looked rather angry.
Though I think I'd be angry too if I was missing the lower half of my body and I was dead.
Oh well.

you've already had the time of your life.

More swirly camera action :D
Still looks like a painting to me.
Oh well.
It's monday, yay.
Today is going to be awkward.
I'm going to be alone for most of the day.
Me + Alone = BLARGH.
I hate being alone.
a n y w a y.
I drew a picture of myself last night.
ha ha, vaaaain.
not really, but yeah.
I look pretty hott.
jk.
It's amazing how time flies.
& It's amazing how people like to talk to me about their problems.
Shoulda been a psychologist or something.
Oh well.

I was awoken at 4:44 (exactly) to a text message from a friend(?)
You see, there's some background behind that.
6 months ago, I fell for this guy, turns out he had a girlfriend, lied to the both of us, and in the end, I'm better friends with her than I ever was with him.
gosh guys can be jerks.
but anywho, he threatened to do some shit to her.
He's 23, and he's being VERY childish about the whole thing.
but it'll all be okay.
He won't go through with what he threatened her about.
maybe one night this week I'll actually be able to sleep.
D:

I has a meerkat.
His name is Clyde for obvious reasons.
& no, I don't stick him in my nose.

My life would suck without you.

Sunday Sunday Sunday!
really though, it's not that exciting.
Another week is starting tomorrow, which means more apples.
& that my friends is a good thing indeed.
After talking with my friends about school, I realized that I'm more than ready to be back.
Gotta get that life scholarship back ya know? D:
Unlike some people, Sherry can't afford to pay for college out tha pocket yo.
Today was full of unexpected visits and can food.
And one reese cup.
yum.
I miss photo manipulation.
I miss staying up until 3:00AM painting.
I miss school.
so yeah, maybe I was having a fit the other day and didn't want to go.
but I'm pretty sure I was just having doubts.
it's all good now. :D
I'm going to paint some later for myself.
I miss doing it just for fun, though it's usually fun anyway.
As for my stepdad, he's a bitch.
& I hope that I die from all the paint and bug spray fumes.
maybe then he'd feel guilty.

ha ha, jk.
*cough*.
>.>

oh be my baby, i'll look after you.

so it's almost sunday.
today has been void of painting.

so i'm happy about that.
didn't leave the house at all.
and momma bought popcorn, so i'm happy about that.
i've worried all day of course, but i've made the most out of it i suppose.

watched jumper, happy feet, a little of napolean dynamite, & now I'm watching journey to the center of the earth.
so many movies.
i called 1-866-666-6001 today like a certain someone told me to.
happy to say it made me smile.
thought i'd rather have called you bby.
i love you & i just want to know you're okay..

i was hiding, til you came along.

I do this to myself.
I'm not extremely sad or anything, but my mood definately isn't a chipper one.
I just started crying, but that's because I read something that broke my heart.
You see, me & love go way back.
To be honest, my first love was in the 7th grade.
Age has nothing to do with the ability to love, it's all about maturity.
And damn my luck for being mature at a young age when it came to this shit.
I've had more heartbreaks than we've had bad presidents it seems like.
The last one was pretty bad because I had a scare (of which only a few people know about).
But this time, I'm not crying because I lost the person I'm with.
I'm crying because I stand a chance of losing him.
It's cliche, it's cheesy, it's overrated.
but I believe I love you more than anyone could ever love someone.
You personify the exact and perfect guy I've dreamt of since I began to think about love.
I don't promise forever, because I'm never sure about the other person.
but if I knew you loved me as much as I loved you, then baby you're my type of forever.
If there was ever a girl on this planet I'd want to be, I'd want to be me.


Well anyway, it's quiet in the house.
Stepdad left earlier to god knows where and momma is asleep.
I miss peanut so much. (my dog, we had to get rid of her because of my stepdad).
All the animals are quiet and laying around doing nothing.
I'd be sleeping too if it weren't for the fact my mind is racing.
School is probably within a month, Idk the exact date.
Once this semester is paid for, I'll be back in Rockhill rockin in The Nance.
I'm scared of course.
The more and more I think of it, I believe I'm not that type of person.
Sure, If I apply myself, I'm fucking intelligent.
I can do amazing work.
Write amazing papers.
Do amazing things.
but there's something inside of me, that just doesn't want all of this.
Like Idk if graduating from college and going to work in a big office in a tall tall building drawing or designing things is for me.
Not that I don't want independence.
I crave that modern outlook that women have since forever.
but I feel like I'm more of a 1800's type of girl.
You know, when females couldn't do shit.
That's why my roommate calls me John Milton.

Blargh I miss my roommate.
My tummy is starting to hurt again.
I think there might be something wrong with me.
I've been hurting a lot and having the urge to throw up.

:[ ?



I need a new tatoo.
just saying.
I think it's time to get some more ink on my skin.
Granted it hurt the first time, but I miss the rush it gives when the needle is barely touching me.

made of ticky tacky.

this looks so cool.
amazing what swirling the camera around will do.
i'm tired.
and my body aches.
still covered in paint.
boyfriend missing in action, so i'm sorta = :[
but i'm dandy otherwise.
best time at applebee's ever yesterday.
regardless of having paint in my hair.
blargh.
i need a massage.
*coughcoughwinkwink*

;D

I thought you said forever.

what possessed me to draw this, I have no idea.
It's out of scale (I think), perception is skewed, and shading is wacky.
All that's on purpose.
I love it.

Second day of being covered in paint.
Except now it's in my hair.
If I wanted white hair, I'd go buy bleach.
BLARGH.
so my sketch book is growing exceedingly so.
which makes me happy.
And it's the weekend! :D
only thing that could make this better is if I could see a certain someone.
But that's not a very likely possibility.
I think.
Idk.
D:

oh, btw.
ily.

Take cover.

BRAND FUCKING NEW BITCHES :D
♥
I'm in love with it.

thank god it's thursday right?
whatev.
I'm currently covered in primer paint.
So sick of paint.
It's not the fun kind like "Oh I PAINTED A PRETTY PICTURE :D"
Oh no.
It's "LET'S PAINT THE ENTIRE FUCKING HOUSE IN ONE NIGHT. D:<"

;______;

I need out of this house. even if it's only a day D:
halp?

:

i've been sitting in the dirt.

BLARGH.

I just spent the last ten minutes, maybe twenty?

Eh, who's counting.

Anyway, I just spent those lovely minutes puking what remained of my guts into the nice white toliet bowl.

I've felt sick since late last night.

My throat hurts.

I rarely throw up, so it's a shock to me why it happened.

Probably nerves or something terribly wrong with what I ate yesterday.

Which is weird, considering it happened this morning.

but anyway.

The other day I shocked myself pretty bad.

My left arm from my elbow to my middle finger hurt.

Felt like someone was twisting knives into my muscle.

Tip? Never touch exposed wires from a cut cord of a space heater.

It's never good.

My inspiration held me for almost a week, but it's slowly fading.

You can guess why.

My heart aches.

Though that's good for writing.

Always wrote best when my heart ached.

Just not in the mood to think.

I'll stop complaining now.

don't breathe.

gas mask aoxor © 7/6/09

new sketch.
I think it's pretty good considering I'm not great at drawing.
:]

New blog btw :D
Writing a story, though I'm not very confidant in it right now.
It's the prologue right now.
Nothing more.
So yeah.

betweenfiveandbristol.blogspot.com
So go read it .. D:
be nice plz.

& your hands go like this.

Scanner is being rather mean, though printing and copying and faxing work just fine.
blargh.
Oh well.
I took a photo of it because I had to get it out there of course.
:D
rather proud considering I'm horrid at hands.
& I've been writing haiku/poems out the wall.
I also started writing a story, though it'll probably end up dead like all the others.
And it's probably childish already.
Oh well. :/
I usually lack detail.
We'll see.

♥

bang bang bang

My sketchbook is still missing in action.

Though I did find a smaller one that my mom gave me a while back.

So I stopped my search for a little while because my hands were itching to draw.

I'm horrid at the human figure.

Hands, feet, faces.

But I tried my luck at hands.

I totally tried to scan and upload the drawing, but the silly machine said no D:

Oh well.

Happy 4th?

blargh.

Nothing really that happy about it in my opinion.
So eat your hotdogs and explode your lovely fireworks you spent dozens of dollars on.
I'll be in my room, rereading Lasher by Anne Rice, drawing random things, & working on a story.
& I know you'll read this my inu dear.
You have no idea just how much you inspire me <3

BLARGH D:<

ha ha, anyway.

I want to doll soooooo bad D:

and I can't find my sketch book.

fuck.

Idk what I'd draw if I had it anyway.

but still.

I feel so disconnected without it. :[

inspiration plz?