All the sounds you make.

Making out in a large tube on a jungle gym playground at the park around 10:00pm is my kinda date.
Even though it wasn't a date.
So that's why I'm like WTF? right now.
I'm leaving soon to stay with my aunt for a while.
So I decided to hang out with some of my closer friends yesterday.
JD, Tevin, & Josh.
Well, JD and I have history.
Major history.
& of course, I still like him.
Maybe a bit more thank like.
We lasted for about a month, then broke up because his family is absolutely racist and hated that I was mixed.
If only they knew what their son does to me. (meant in the most innocent way possible)
So I had to drop off Tevin first because it's a school night and he's the only one that hasn't graduated.
So it was me, JD, & Josh.
We went to the park with the halfass tube slide because it's just an obvious place to hang out in Woodruff.
Well, my mom needed my car, so Josh took it to her.
that left me and JD alone.
oh dear.
I'll admit it, he's probably the best kisser I've had.
No joke.
& those bright blue eyes of his make me melt.
I just love it.
So obviously when he went to kiss me, I didn't pull away.

Josh is a cockblocker btw.
but as always, I'm confused.
He's done this before, when I was homefor Christmas break last year.
Do all guys kiss their ex just because their alone?
Anyone I've asked so far has said no.
I don't want to put so much emotion and hope into something if it was only a fling or something.
When I think about forever, I never really thought of him in that sense of being with when I'm older you know?
I've never really tried to think of him in that way.
It's amazing to me, that he could kiss me like that and we stay just friends.
To my knowledge, I don't just kiss my friends.
He's one of the only people I'd drink or even eat after.
& I absolutely hate doing that.
Idk.
I don't want to confront him and get things all wrong.
I'll always love him.
FML.
I dislike my confusion.